What are You Avoiding?

While many leaders are reasonably self-aware, one of the largest blinders I witness in leadership is the inability to pinpoint what you avoid and, even more importantly, why you avoid it.

We can see avoidance in others quite clearly: the employee who regularly puts off a task, a child who will do anything other than her homework (I’m looking at you, my dear Chloe), a partner who won’t talk about the real issue in the relationship. But it’s much harder to clearly identify, acknowledge, and own what we avoid ourselves. And harder still to recognize the impact that avoidance has on those around us.

The truth is that we all avoid things but as leaders our avoidance is amplified just as our influence on our organizations carries additional weight. As annoying and challenging as your employee’s avoidance may be, your own avoidance is hindering your organization’s progress significantly more.

I witness leaders avoiding making tough decisions about programs that aren’t producing impact, addressing team dynamics that are wasting time and energy for everyone, making bold strides forward to take the organization to the next level, succession planning, strategic planning, truly diversifying the board…. I could keep going. 

When you avoid these important matters you are keeping your organization stuck. You’re allocating limited resources (time, money and energy) to dead ends. You’re spinning your wheels and exhausting yourself rather than stopping, determining an alternative path forward, and getting started.

A leader’s avoidance also diminishes the trust of those around them. Just as you can see what your employees are avoiding, they’re usually able to see what you are dancing around too - even if you can’t. And when your team knows there’s work to be done to address a poor performer that not’s happening, or there are ineffective strategies consuming resources that could be put to better use, or the organization isn’t as healthy as it needs to be internally to achieve results it impacts their perception of your leadership. 

Fortunately, this is a problem that is easily remedied by taking off your blinders and shining a light on what you’ve been kicking down the road a bit too long. 

So, what are you avoiding? And why?

First, have a truth session with yourself (pull out your journal and find a comfy spot): brainstorm a list of things you have been avoiding. And then honestly assess what, at the heart of it all, you are truly avoiding. Hint: it’s bigger than a single task.

Second, investigate why you’re avoiding it. What are you afraid of? Failure? Confrontation? Discomfort? The workload? Lack of support? Another hint: you’ll say it’s because you’re busy - the reality is that not addressing what you’re putting off is making your life harder, not easier, so put that old mantra away.

Next assess what the cost of avoiding this is. For yourself. For your team. For your organization.

Then clarify what your desired outcome is. If you tackle this issue, what do you aspire to achieve? What would be possible?

And finally, what is the first step to make progress? Break it down into bite sized pieces and commit to one bite at a time. Hold yourself accountable by sharing your tasks with someone who will follow up with you – a board member, a coach, a teammate, a partner.

The things we avoid don’t go away. Instead, they fester and become problems or sticking points (Shirzad Chamine, Positive Intelligence).

Don’t judge yourself – as I said, we all avoid things. Do get real with yourself about what you’ve been avoiding and let the answer to why be the source of your solution.